Keeping Lines Of Communication And Trust Open As Your Child Gets Older
Healthy communication is essential in all of life’s relationships. That includes the relationship you have with your child. When they’re little, it’s easy to foster healthy lines of communication as you guide them, they ask questions, and you share what you know about the world.
As your child gets older, though, those lines of communication can start to blur. They might begin to seek out other sources of information as they crave independence. Teenagers, in particular, are often stereotyped for their lack of communication. While your communication efforts might be different, they shouldn’t stop, no matter how old your child gets.
With that in mind, let’s cover how you can keep lines of communication and trust open as your child gets older.
Adjust Your Expectations
As a parent, it can be difficult to change the way you see your child, even as they get older. But their communication needs will change, and it’s important to adjust your expectations and adapt to those needs.
Work to understand the unique challenges that can accompany a child’s growth and development. Be patient when it comes to building trust, and don’t try to force conversations unnaturally.
Rather, establish yourself as a safe space for your child to open up and share their thoughts. Be open and welcoming so they know they can approach you without worrying about being judged. The more comfortable they feel being vulnerable with you, the greater the trust between you will become.
Establish Routines
It’s a good rule of thumb to establish communication routines from an early age. Again, those routines might need to be adjusted as your child gets older. If you haven’t already put routines in place, it’s not too late.
Determine what works best for you and your child and start incorporating them into your daily lives. Things like text messages, phone calls, or any kind of regular “check-in” efforts will help to ensure you’re consistently communicating and recognizing what’s going on in each other’s lives.
Be An Active Listener
Your child may not immediately share every thought or concern with you as they start getting older. When they do, it’s essential to be an active listener. Eliminate distractions, ask questions, and use both verbal and nonverbal cues to let them know you really hear and understand what they’re saying.
It can be tempting to want to fix things for them or tell them exactly what to do. However, that’s not always the best approach. Sometimes, you don’t need to fix everything. They simply need you to listen and validate their feelings. If they ask for guidance, provide it. However, you should also use these moments as an opportunity to let your child know that their thoughts matter and they have the ability to tackle life’s challenges.
Be A Role Model
One of the best ways to keep lines of communication open is to model it yourself. Don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and feelings openly. It’s okay to be vulnerable with an older child, and it lets them know they can be the same way with you. Establishing a household environment that prioritizes healthy communication will likely carry over into your child’s adult experiences, encouraging them to do the same in their own household after they move out.
If you find that you’re struggling with your communication efforts, you’re not alone. Maybe your child is having a hard time opening up. If that’s the case, it might be time to consider parent coaching to encourage better communication. Therapy can help your child prioritize their mental well-being while teaching them the importance of being open and honest. If you’re ready to learn more, feel free to contact me for a consultation.
